Just after cleaning up from my Shep’s overnight barf-a-thon (wrong – I had missed one of his better efforts under the foot of the bed), Miggy, of the excellent Gun-Free Zone blog, posts a Facedbook link which made my early Monday morning ever so much better. Jaime Franchi, she of the Pulitzer candidate 8 Factoids to Help You Sound Smart at a Party (two of which involve chocolate bunnies), drops a real steamer: Redefine the NRA as a Terrorist/Lobby Organization
Writing in the “Strictly Digital” (not even to be seen in birdcages) Long Island Press, that fine purveyor of “sports and alternative political news”, Ms. Franchi barfs out an impassioned editorial. The LIP incredibly miscategorizes her dreck as news. Actually, it’s not even much of an editorial, as it contains all the logic and cohesive thought of a bum’s screaming fit with his shoe.
No, I’m not going to link to that steaming pile of vomitus. I’ve made the proper attributions: if you feel you must abuse your frontal lobes, Google it yourself.
Her editorial is largely a series of declarative statements, organized together by -- as far as I can tell -- commas, periods, spaces and proximity. Her thoughts skitter across the page like a drop of oil on too hot of a skillet. I tried to decipher several of her sentences and only got closer to putting rum in my coffee. Many of her statements are obviously incorrect or wild-eyed stretches of the vernacular. She even invokes bloody-shirt mouthpiece Richard Martinez, and “his simple(minded) plea of #notonemore.” The parenthetical is mine.
I subjected myself to Franchi’s derp in order to better understand the opposition’s thoughts and motivations. She's an insignificant player, but typical of the breed. I’m left wondering; “How do these people dress themselves in the morning?”